Long time no Blog

Nobody is probably going to read this. It was been 3 months since my last blog so I am sure everyone has stopped checking.

Lots has been going on, so I am sorry (for those that care).

Check out my next blog for an update.

Yard Work

Today I worked for about 3 hours in my front yard. It wasn't too hot, but it was muggy. I guess it was worth it...it looks a lot better. I wasn't planning on working in the yard, just came home and decided to do it...then I couldn't stop...it was almost adicting. Sure it will be the last time yard work feels adicting.

Settle down.

I used to long to settle down. Get married, buy a house find a long term job, etc, etc, etc. Everything is great, not settled, but great. Maybe I will feel settled when I retire.

Oh, and I am going in view of a call at Victory Missionary Baptist Church in Clinton, OK on June 17th, prayers would be appreciated.

What's wrong with kids today...

In the wake of the VT tragedy everybody seems to have a lot to say about guns and the crazy people who use them for such senseless reasons, but I want to say something about our schools and what they show me.

For the last 2 months I have been working in an inner city school just North of MWC, OK. I have seen about 7 or 8 fist fights just between the 23 3rd graders in my class. I have watched a 5th grade student solicate students change at the vending machines and noone even argue with him because of how scared they are of him and his gang banger older brother who is at a MWC highschool. I have witnessed a teacher quit with less than two months of classes left because "it just wasn't worth it"...I have been harrased by 5th grade students who only respond to phone calls home to mom or dad (because their parents hate to be bothered, so they spank the tar out of their children if they get a phone call). This school has a room just for In School Suspension and a principal just for discipline. All of us teachers carry cell phones because students won't leave our classrooms when they are sent to the principal and often have to be escorted. I have seen 4 or 5 seperate 3rd grade students so filled with rage that they have flipped desks over. I could go on...

Now this school is an extreme situation, but I believe it could be a window into the future. The issue isn't spanking children vs. alternate forms of discipline, I would even argue that it isn't completely about God being taken out of school (as many claim it is)...I say the issue is love. Most of the children I see on a day to day basis are not being loved enough...Some are not loved at all...some are only loved when they are good...some only get attention when they are bad.

Schools are not the problem today. Myself and my fellow teachers didn't make these kids this way, their parents did. I hear all the time how schools are failing our children, the truth is that the world needs to wake up and see that parents are failing their children. When did it become the schools responsiblity to teach discipline, morals, self respect, character, etc...

Sure schools have always helped parents foster these ideas, but schools can't initiate these ideas. We have these kids 8 hours a day for less that 9 months out of the year. That is a lot of time, but not nearly enough time to undue the harm that has been done to them, and not nearly enough time to love them as much as the need.

Spring Break...

Spring Break, what exactly are we breaking from anyways. I know, school, life, etc... Doesn't it set a bad example for our futures. When are we going to get a spring break in the real world (side bar, I say this, but at almost 29 years of age this is my 24th spring break). Anyways, I say do away with spring break and get classes over with a week earlier.

As for me, this is my first true spring break since 2005, and I'm glad I have it now, but will be wishing school was out earlier come May.

I am sitting at home a writing this blog on my spring break, maybe I am missing the point.

Being Your Own Boss

I don't do well with unstructured time. Some people are really self motivated and push themselves to achieve and accomplish all they want and need to. I, on the other hand, have trouble focusing on tasks when I have all the say in how and when they are to be completed.

The funny thing is, I also become really obsessive about certain things from time to time. I will put hours and hours into an activity without even thinking about it. Sometimes it is something stupid, like video games or surfing the Internet, and other times it is something important, like planning an event or completing an important project.

I really wish I could find a way to get myself to a middle ground. A place where I am not scattered and unproductive, but also a place where I am not obsessed and consumed by what I am doing. Consistency, is really what I am looking for. Consistency in myself.

What was once routine...

This one’s about a dream I had last night
How an old man tracked me home And stepped inside
He put his foot inside the door And gave a crooked smile
Something in his eyes Something in his laugh
Something in his voice That made my skin crawl off

He said, “I’ve seen you here before I know your name.
You could have your pick Of pretty things.
You could have it all Everything at once.
Everything you’ve seen, Everything you’ll need,
Everything you’ve ever had in fantasies.”

“You’ve one life, You’ve one life.
You’ve one life left to lead.”

I woke up from my dream As a golden man
With a girl I’ve never seen With golden skin
I jumped up to my feet She asked me what was wrong
I began to scream I don’t think this is me
Is this just a dream Or really happening?

What direction? What direction?
I’m splitting up! I’m splitting up!
This is my personal disaffection

What direction? What direction?
What direction now?

I looked outside the glass At golden shores
Golden ships and masts With golden cords
As my reflection passed I hated what I saw
My golden eyes were dead And a thought passed through my head
A heart that is made of gold can’t really beat at all

I wanted to wake up again Without a touch of gold

What direction? Death or action!
Life begins at the intersection.

I woke up as before But the gold was gone
My wife was at the door With her night robe on
My heart beat once or twice And life flooded my veins
Everything had changed My lungs had found their voice
And what was once routine was now the perfect joy

You’ve one life You’ve one life
One life left to lead

Faust, Midas, And Myself
by Switchfoot

Have you ever wished that everything you touched turn to gold? What if you "could have it all, everything at once, everything you’ve seen, everything you’ll need, everything you’ve ever had in fantasies"? You can't, but what if you could? How messed up would my life be right now if, by some magic, that had been offered to me? For that matter how messed up would my life be right now if Jesus hadn't turned down that same offer? "Life begins at the intersection".

Tip for the day, don't live in the past for..."You've one life, you've one life, one life left to lead".